


Letting Go

by Jcapasso916



Series: Letting Go [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-23
Updated: 2015-11-23
Packaged: 2018-05-03 00:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 20,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5268806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jcapasso916/pseuds/Jcapasso916
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the mystery spot, the trickster decides to take things one step further and actively help Sam avoid the destiny laid out for him. He never planned on falling in love</p>
            </blockquote>





	Letting Go

“You're right. I was just screwing with you. Pretty good, though, Sam. Smart. Let me tell you, whoever said Dean was the dysfunctional one has never seen you with a sharp object in your hands. Holy Full Metal Jacket,” the trickster said highly amused. 

“Bring him back,” Sam begged. He should be trying to kill this thing in front of him, but he didn’t have any fight left. Obviously fighting wasn’t going to resolve anything. The trickster was too powerful. He would never get close, but maybe he could talk him into it. 

“Who, Dean? Didn't my girl send you flowers? Dean's dead. He ain't coming back. His soul's downstairs doing the hellfire rumba as we speak,” Of course the trickster knew better. This little pocket dimension he created didn’t go far enough to include hell, or even reapers or death or anything else. Dean would be back…eventually, but telling Sam that would certainly be counterproductive. 

“Just take us back to that Tuesday—er, Wednesday—when it all started. Please. We won't come after you, I swear,” Sam pleaded with the being in front of him. 

“You swear,” he said disbelievingly.

“Yes,” Sam said firmly, willing the trickster to believe him. If he got his brother back he would gladly let the trickster walk in return, not that they could do anything more than annoy the demigod anyway. 

“I don't know. Even if I could—“

“You can,” Sam said, not buying that act for a moment. 

“True. But that don't mean I should.” The trickster sighed. This was getting them nowhere. Maybe he would have to try a different way. Clear and direct…and boring. Oh so boring, but if that’s what it took to stop this before it started… “Sam, there's a lesson here that I've been trying to drill into that freakish Cro-Magnon skull of yours.”

“Lesson? What lesson?” That’s what the trickster had been doing trying to teach him a lesson? Well maybe if he listened and learned the lesson then he would let them go. 

“This obsession to save Dean? The way you two keep sacrificing yourselves for each other? Nothing good comes out of it. Just blood and pain. Dean's your weakness. And the bad guys know it, too. It's gonna be the death of you, Sam. Sometimes you just gotta let people go,” the trickster had moved up closer to Sam as he was speaking in order to better convey his sincerity. 

Sam just stood there for a moment looking at the trickster and thinking about what he had said. It actually seemed like the little being in front of him actually cared. No one had ever cared before outside of family and that thought more than anything else struck Sam. He had no idea why he did what he did next except that he had spent six months obsessed with the trickster and had barely ate or slept in all that time so he really wasn’t in his right mind when, with lightning speed, he wrapped an arm around the tricksters waist and pulling flush against him, crashing his lips into the demi-god’s. 

“Mmph,” came from the smaller man as he was caught completely off guard. He had been waiting for Sam to either speak or hit him. This had never crossed his mind as a possibility. He kissed back tentatively, keeping his arms at his sides, wondering if he had actually broken the last shred of the hunter’s sanity or if this was some kind of trick to get him to lower his guard before staking him. 

Sam released him and took a step back looking surprised and sheepish at what he’d done. The trickster stood there for a second, lips frozen, slightly puckered as he blinked. Then he raised an eyebrow at the hunter curiously as he stepped back slowly and cautiously, keeping his eyes on his…enemy?

“I…um…” Sam didn’t know what to say about the unexpected kiss, so he decided to just ignore it and hope the trickster did too. He got back on the previous topic. “I get it. I really do. But you have to understand that Dean is all I have. Everyone else is gone.”

The trickster just rolled his eyes. Talk about an extreme reaction to loneliness. “There’s something to be said for being alone Sam. No one to tell you what to do, judge you, argue with you…”

Sam interrupted, “talk to you, support you, help you, protect you.”

The trickster sighed. “Tell you what kiddo, you learn to let go, and I’ll protect you. All you have to do is call, and you got that old guy with the baseball cap for the rest right?” He knew that the protection aspect was the only part of that that Sam would even consider accepting from him, that kiss notwithstanding. Not that he particularly wanted to be best buddies with the hunter, but there wasn’t much he wouldn’t do to stop this apocalypse from happening.

Sam was surprised that the trickster offered to protect him. He would be a fool if he didn’t at least think about it. He knew that the wily little being would never let him get close enough to kill him, so he might as well use the trickster. But there was no way he was ever going to give up on his brother, no matter what carrot was dangled in front of him. But then the trickster didn’t ask him to give up. He just asked him to let go. Sam decided on a compromise that he hoped the trickster would accept. “Bring Dean back. I won’t give up on trying to save him,”

The trickster threw up his hands in frustration. He had thought they were getting somewhere. “It’s like talking to a brick wall,” he exclaimed.

“No wait let me finish,” Sam said trying to placate the demigod. “I won’t stop trying to save him, but I’ll stop being so reckless about it and if I can’t then I’ll do my best not to go off the rails when he’s gone, but you have to bring him back now. Don’t take these last few months away from me. Please.”

The trickster narrowed his eyes in thought. He might be able to work with that. “If you start getting stupid I have every right to either wash my hands of you or snatch you up for another lesson, as I see fit,” he added his own condition. 

“As long as you leave Dean out of it,” Sam agreed. 

“Only if he is not absolutely necessary to the lesson,” the trickster countered. 

Sam nodded tightly. As the trickster raised his hand to snap Sam called out, “Wait.” The trickster just raised an eyebrow. “You said to call you. How?”

“Just call my name,” he said with a smirk. 

“What is your name?” Sam asked and only received a waggle of the eyebrows in response before he found himself waking up that Wednesday morning and upon seeing Dean he grabbed his brother in a huge hug. 

“Dude how many Tuesday’s did you have?” Dean asked him. 

“Too many,” was all Sam replied. It seemed reasoning with the trickster worked. 

 

Sam didn’t let Dean out of his sight. He didn’t completely trust the trickster not to pull another fast one on them. Once that town was far into their rear view mirror and they had stopped for the night Sam pulled out his computer. The trickster obviously expected Sam to figure out his name for himself, which means it was doable. He did a quick search for trickster gods and it seemed to be a pretty long list. He narrowed it down to the most popular. He would start there. He certainly didn’t look African so he ruled out Anansi. He didn’t look Native American either so he ruled out Coyote, but he could definitely pass for Nordic. Loki it was. Well would be his first try at least. If that wasn’t it he would have to get more creative and maybe look at some of the lesser known tricksters.

He waited until Dean was asleep and slipped out the door into the parking lot. “Um…Loki?” he said tentatively. 

“Very good Sam. I knew you were smart enough to figure it out,” Loki said from where he appeared sitting on the hood of Dean’s car leaning against the windshield with his ankles crossed and a lollipop in his mouth. 

Sam turned quickly and seeing the smirk on the god’s face, couldn’t help the corners of his mouth twitching in response. It seemed that he had gotten it right, and that Loki had been serious about coming when he was called. However, “You better not scratch the car or Dean will kill me.”

Loki rolled his eyes and hopped down easily. “After all the trouble he went to to keep you alive? I doubt that,” he said as he twirled the lollipop in his hand before popping it back in his mouth. 

Sam winced at the reminder but just said, “Okay then he would make my life miserable.”

Loki just laughed remembering Dean’s reaction when he let the air out of the tires of the impala. Ah good times. 

“So did you need something Samsquatch or you just testing the name?” Loki asked lazily. 

Sam did want to ask Loki something. He had been afraid to ask before, just in case the trickster didn’t bring Dean back because of it, but he couldn’t just not ask. “Well I was wondering…” Sam trailed off worried about how he would react. 

“Oh for crying out loud. Just ask. I promise not to smite you or anything,” Loki knew what he was going to ask, but certainly didn’t plan to make it easy for the hunter. 

“Well…is there any way for you to get Dean out of his deal? Anything I can offer you in return?”

Well at least the kid didn’t expect him to do something for nothing, but it’s not like he could oblige him anyway. “No dice kid. Even if there were anything I wanted from you, that’s a little outside of my wheelhouse. Once he signed his soul away it was out of my reach.”

Sam needed to be clear here, “So are you saying that you literally can’t or that there will be consequences if you do?”

Loki sighed heavily. This kid just wouldn’t give up. “I literally can’t. There is nothing that can.”

“There has to be something,” Sam said desperately.

Loki rolled his eyes again, “Well sure, you can invite the head demon over for tea and ask her nicely if she would be so kind as to cancel the contract, but even you’re not that stupid.” Sam looked at Loki hopefully. “And neither am I so get that thought out of your head right now,” he said firmly as he snapped his fingers and disappeared. 

Sam slipped back into the room without waking his brother and sighed. He knew he had pushed too far, but he had to be sure. He had to try every possibility. He would never be able to live with himself if he didn’t. He slid into bed, but sleep was a long time coming. It was a very eventful day and he had a lot to think about. First was the confrontation with Loki where he had, for some unfathomable reason, kissed the man…god…whatever. What the hell had he been thinking? Kissing a monster. Using him was bad enough, but then things kept happening keeping him from dwelling on it; waking up to find Dean back, and then trying to figure out his name and the conversation they just had. He did finally manage to drift off to sleep, though his dreams were haunted by sandy hair, whiskey eyes, and smirking lips. 

 

The Winchesters had tried to keep busy over the next weeks. Whenever they had some down time Sam was researching something…anything to get his brother out of this deal. He refused to believe that it was hopeless. He did find his thoughts straying to Loki regularly as well. He just couldn’t figure the enigmatic being out. He had realized that his thing was to teach people a lesson. Sometimes fatally, but he couldn’t figure out what lesson was meant for them the first time they met. He could have just as easily disappeared before they ever found him, manipulated things so that he was never even suspected, but he had let them catch him. Why? He was sure that Loki had been trying to teach them something, but what? It was driving him crazy, but after the way their last conversation ended, he couldn’t bring himself to call him to ask. The deal was for protection after all, not conversation whenever Sam wanted and he didn’t want to risk getting the deal called off. 

They found themselves captured by that idiot from the FBI and then all hell broke loose. Literally. When Ruby dropped the bomb about Lilith, Dean was pissed that Sam didn’t tell him. Sam really hadn’t meant to keep it from him. It just hadn’t come up, and he didn’t really think much of it. So there was a demon after him. What else was new? 

Ruby suggested a spell to get rid of the demons and they were on board…right up until she told them she needed to cut that girl’s heart out of her chest. When Ruby looked to him for support for her idea, he realized just how far he had fallen that she could even think that he would agree with her. He was suddenly very glad for Loki’s interference even if it had been horribly traumatic for him. He had obviously needed it. When she called his name questioningly again he said firmly, “No. Absolutely not. That is not an option and if that’s the only one you have then just leave.”

Dean looked at him approvingly. He wasn’t going to admit that he had been worried for a moment there. If Sam had agreed with her then they would have had a major problem. 

Ruby sighed theatrically. “I’m disappointed. I tried. I really did, but clearly I bet on the wrong horse,” She said looking at Sam disgustedly. “Mind letting me out?”

Sam followed her to the door and after breaking the devil’s trap and the salt line he said, “Oh and Ruby? The only reason you’re walking out of here is because I’m giving you the benefit of the doubt. Don’t come back.” Sam knew that she had been trying to corrupt him, but she had been marginally helpful so he would let her go this time. Next time they met, all bets were off. 

Ruby turned sharply tossing her hair over her shoulder and walked away. Sam replaced the salt and the devil’s trap and turned to see Dean looking at him approvingly. He had never trusted Ruby after all. Once they got back to the squad room Hendrickson asked, “So what’s the plan?”

Sam looked nervously at Dean. “I promise I’ll explain later.” When Dean looked at him curiously Sam just said, “Loki, we could use some help please.”

“Sam what the…” Dean started to say before he was interrupted.

“You rang,” a low drawling voice said. 

They all spun around to find Loki sitting with his feet up on the desk leaning back lazily in the chair unwrapping a candy bar. 

“What the…Who are you?” Hendrickson asked astonished. He wasn’t exactly used to people popping up out of thin air. 

“Loki, Norse God of Mischief at your service,” he said standing and bowing theatrically. “So what mess have you muttonheads gotten yourself into this time?”

Sam took over not trusting Dean to speak, “There are about thirty demons out there…”

“Thirty two actually from what I can sense,” Loki interrupted. 

“Yeah, but that’s not all…” Sam trailed off not sure where to begin on the Lilith issue. Loki just raised his eyebrow indicating that Sam should continue. “It seems that there is a particular demon gunning for me. She’s apparently pretty strong. Her name is Lilith and she’s supposedly on her way.” Sam didn’t miss the way Loki’s eyes narrowed at Lilith’s name and wondered how the God knew the demon, but didn’t get a chance to ask as Loki exploded. 

“Damnit! Do you idiots have any idea what kind of shit you’ve stepped in? How could you be so stupid as to let her get so close?!” He yelled as he was pacing. He suddenly stopped and closed his eyes and Sam could almost see him counting to 10. When he opened them again the fire was absent and the mischievous smirk was back. “Well we will just have to get you boys out of here before she arrives then won’t we?” He said as he lifted his hand to snap his fingers.

“Wait,” Sam said. “We can’t leave the rest of these people here to be slaughtered.” He assumed that Loki was just going to transport them somewhere safe. 

“What do you take me for Samsquatch?” Loki said as he snapped. Both Winchesters were surprised to find that they were still in the police station where they started. “All the demons are now in a little alternate reality of mine that looks just like this one, but is completely empty of other people. Now I suggest that everyone clear out before big boss lady arrives, or they escape. I can’t hold them forever,” Loki said smugly. Then he added as an afterthought, “Oh and all those people outside that were being possessed, the live ones anyway, are probably pretty confused. You should probably shuffle them out of here too,” Then he snapped his fingers again and Sam, Dean, and the impala all appeared at the side of the road, next to a sign saying ‘Welcome to North Carolina’. 

“Son of a bitch!” Dean exclaimed. They were about as far as they could possibly be from where they were and still be in the same country. If there was anything wrong with his car, saving them wouldn’t prevent him from finding a pointy stake. He looked in the backseat and saw their bags, so at least the trickster had done that much for them, and hopefully it was all the way they left it. He got in the car while saying to Sam, “You have a lot of explaining to do.”

Sam got in the car with a sigh. When his brother looked at him with what could only be described as a bitchface Sam started talking. “Ok I never told you this, but at the mystery spot, after I confronted the trickster outside of the diner we woke up on Wednesday, just like you remember, but this time you died again and didn’t come back. I kinda…went nuts. Not eating, not sleeping, taking stupid risks, etc. I finally tracked down the trickster ready to kill him but he disarmed me with just a thought so I tried talking to him. Asking him to bring you back. Finally he agreed to make a deal with me. There was a bit of negotiation but what we settled on was he brought you back and agreed to protect me, and you until your deal was up and I agreed not to take stupid risks and go off the rails again when the time came.”

Dean took a deep breath and fought his first instinct to yell at his brother. He hated the idea of him making deals with monsters. All he could think about was his demon deal, but he really couldn’t find any fault in that deal. He wanted the same thing as the trickster after all. For his brother to be okay when he was gone, but something didn’t make sense. “Why does he care? What does he get out of it?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been trying to figure that out myself,” Sam said relieved that his brother wasn’t pitching a fit over it. 

“And you’re sure that’s all there is? That he’s not playing some kind of trick?”

“I wouldn’t rule it out completely, but so far he’s kept up his end of the bargain, and I don’t see a way he can twist it.”

Dean nodded. At least Sam wasn’t going into this blind and was still on the lookout for tricks. He would trust his brother’s judgement on this. Sam needed to learn to make his own choices anyway. “Okay. Just be careful with him. Now what this about Lilith?”

“She’s apparently some big bad demon that wants me out of the picture.”

“Why would you hide that from me?”

“I wasn’t hiding it Dean,” he got a ‘yeah right’ look from his brother. “I wasn’t! It just didn’t come up. I mean it’s not like demons being after us is anything new these days.”

“Well your new best friend sure seemed to know something about her.”

“You know as much as I do on that Dean. I have no idea what made him react like that. It’s not like we sit around swapping stories.”

Dean still looked suspicious but decided to give his little brother the benefit of the doubt. “Still. Something very specific, coming specifically for you, you tell me. Got it?”

“I got it Dean.”

“I gotta say though. I’m proud of the way you got rid of Ruby, but I thought you two were all BFFs?”

Sam sighed. “You were right Dean. She was manipulating me. Trying to corrupt me. I didn’t even see it until she expected me to agree with her about killing the girl in there. It makes me sick to think that if I hadn’t had Loki to call on I may have fell for her crap and even agreed with her.”

Dean’s jaw clenched. His patience was really taking a beating today, but he really didn’t want to spend what little time he had left fighting with his brother. He reminded himself that Sam realized that she was manipulating him, and fought it off. He couldn’t exactly be mad at his brother for something he didn’t actually do, and at least Sam realized how wrong it was. Dean actually found himself thankful for the trickster’s insertion into his brother’s life. He still didn’t trust him, but at least something good had come out of it. 

 

They found the nearest hotel and checked in. Dean made immediately for the closest bar. He really needed some time away from all the crap that got dumped on him that day. Sam just went into the room and said, “Loki um…I don’t really need any help, but I was hoping I could talk to you if you’re not busy?”

When Loki didn’t immediately appear Sam just figured that talking was outside of their arrangement so busied himself with some research on his computer looking for another case nearby and so he was understandably startled when a voice drawled from behind him, “You want to talk huh?”

He spun around so fast he nearly fell out of the chair and saw Loki stretched out on his bed, hands behind his head looking at the ceiling. He forced the idea of how much he liked the idea of Loki in his bed from his mind. “Loki…um…I didn’t think you were coming.”

“Meh. Had to finish some cleanup from your little escapade. That FBI guy is pretty funny when his knickers get in a twist.”

Sam was taken aback at that. He had thought that Loki had done all he was going to do by getting the demons out of the way and telling everyone to clear out. “Thank you Loki. I…I really appreciate it. Is everyone ok?”

“You’ll be glad to know that everyone is safe, well everyone that was still alive by that point anyway. Lilith has come and gone and killed quite a few of my little clones I left for her. Very messy she is let me tell you.”

“Will you tell me about her?”

“Know your enemy and all that huh Samsquatch?” Loki said lazily. “She’s a nasty piece of work that you should stay well away from. Let’s just leave it at that.”

Sam knew that he wasn’t going to get any more out of Loki on that subject so moved on to something else that had been bugging him. 

“Why are you helping me? Why do you care?”

“Do you want me to stop?” Loki asked raising an eyebrow at the hunter.

“No!...no. I just…I don’t understand. I don’t like not understanding.”

“Well let’s just say that I don’t like the plans that certain parties have for you, and I have every intention of derailing those plans every chance I get. Pisses them off pretty good,” he said with an evil glint in his eye. 

“You know what they’re planning?”

“Yup,” Loki said popping the p sound.

“But you’re not going to tell me?” Sam guessed.

“Nope,” with another popping p. 

Sam wasn’t really happy with the answers he was getting but hoped he would get a better reaction from his next question given Loki’s desire for people to learn their lessons. “There is something else I was wondering.” Sam said, not sure if he was pushing his luck.

“What is this? Twenty questions?” Loki asked before waving his hand lazily in a gesture for Sam to get on with it. 

“The first time we met, you let us catch you. Why? What lesson were you trying to teach?”

Loki smirked at that. At least the kid had figured out that there was a lesson, even if he didn’t get it yet. “Why acceptance my dear Samsquatch. Acceptance.”

“Huh?” Sam said completely bewildered.

“Like I told your brother, which I’m certain you were eavesdropping on, I like you two. If you had been the least bit reasonable and willing to hear me out then we all could have walked out of there amicably.”

“So what? You were trying to make friends?”

“I was trying to give you two knuckleheads someone else to call on before selling your soul to a stupid demon,” Loki snapped impatiently. 

“Oh,” Sam said stupidly. “Well for what it’s worth I’m sorry we didn’t listen, but I’m listening now.” Loki narrowed his eyes at the hunter wondering what he hoped to gain from this and what it was he wanted Loki to say. Sam realized that he was going to have to draw it out of Loki so he said, “You said those people got what was coming to them. What did you mean? How do you justify killing them?” Sam tried to keep the judgement from his voice, but knew some of it bled through. 

Loki just laid his head back again and threaded his fingers behind his head. “Well the professor was an accident. Not that he didn’t deserve something nasty mind you, but how was I supposed to know he would jump out the damn window like an idiot? The way he pressured his students into sleeping with him and threatening them if they ever told anyone, even causing a few of them to commit suicide, he was just asking for some payback. I guess when the girl he was molesting starting rotting and her face started melting it was a little too much for him, but really. He could have just used the door to run away.” Sam snorted in amusement. “The researcher though. Him I meant to kill. He got off on torture. Animals, humans, it didn’t matter to him. If it could scream it was fair game. You don’t want to know the things he did. I was doing the world a favor by getting rid of him, and saving all his future victims.”

Sam nodded, “Yeah ok. I get it. I don’t know if I agree with it, but I get it.” Loki looked at him surprised that he was so accepting. From what he had seen of the brothers grimm, they were ridiculously stubborn. “So what about the kid with the aliens?” Sam asked. 

Loki’s face broke out in a grin, “Oh that one was fun. He was a pledgemaster at a fraternity. You went to college. You know how those things go I’m sure.” Sam winced having heard stories about the horrors of hazing. “Well he had a habit of taking things too far. He did some unspeakable things with one of those paddles, so I figured he could use a lesson in humility. See how it looks from the other side. And we all know how much those aliens like to probe,” he laughed. “The slow dancing was just a fun addition. The icing on the cake if you will.”

Loki hadn’t been looking at the hunter and so when he felt the bed dip next to him, he was surprised and turned to face Sam. Sam put a hand on his arm and smiled. “Thank you Loki,” he said softly. 

Loki narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Sam. Why was he touching him? It had been longer than Loki cared to think about since someone touched him without wanting something from him, so what did Sam want? “You already said that Samsquatch,” he said easily, not betraying the storm going on within. 

“I thanked you for today already. Now I’m thanking you for trying to help before even though we were too stubborn to listen, and for giving me a chance to listen now.”

Loki resolutely ignored the warmth he felt at that. It wasn’t like he was used to being thanked, or valued at all even. He changed the subject. “So any more burning questions you have for me?” he asked hoping for a way out. 

Sam smiled wryly, “Nothing that I think you’ll answer.”

“Catch you later then kiddo,” he said and Sam’s hand was suddenly resting on air. 

 

Loki reappeared on the balcony of his house in Hawaii and snapped up a red wine. What the hell was going on with him? He was helping the hunter to keep his brothers from fighting and destroying the world. He wasn’t supposed to start getting attached. He looked down at his arm where Sam had touched him and frowned. It had felt…nice. He didn’t do nice. He did vengeance and justice and fury and fun. Nice wasn’t in his vocabulary. He didn’t know if he liked it or not. He contemplated not going back if Sam called again unless he was actually in danger, but he knew that he would. He was committed to stopping this apocalypse, and that meant being there for Sam as much as Sam wanted him to be. With his luck the one time he didn’t go would be when the kid went off the reservation and did what he was meant to do. Changing destiny was no easy task and he would have to be vigilant. 

 

Sam sat in the empty room disgruntled at Loki’s abrupt departure, but now that he was gone Sam was free to consider why he felt so attracted to him. I mean sure there had been that one time in college, but he wasn’t usually attracted to men, and certainly not to sarcastic, loudmouthed pranksters. I mean sure the guy was gorgeous with that wavy sand colored hair that you just longed to run your fingers through and those whiskey eyes that you could just drown in, and Sam had felt the lean muscles on his arm and could just imagine the rest of his body being the same way, and damnit. Sam made for the bathroom to take a nice long shower. 

Sam was already asleep by the time Dean stumbled back in.

 

Sam knew he would have to tell Dean about Loki’s visit last night. Dean hated when he kept things from him and he was already on this ice after keeping his agreement with Loki secret for so long plus the whole Lilith thing that he hadn’t meant to keep secret, so once he got back with breakfast he said, “So I called Loki last night to see if I could get some answers.”

Dean nodded, “And…”

“And I didn’t get much on current events. Basically stay away from Lilith because she’s bad news, and he knows what the demons are planning for me and won’t tell me but he doesn’t like it so that’s why he’s helping because he wants to piss them off and keep it from happening,” Sam explained. “Oh and he stayed in the town and left Lilith some clones to play with while he kept the rest of the people safe after he popped us out of there.”

“Huh. So it seems like he does have a heart in there somewhere,” Dean said sarcastically. 

“More than we thought,” Sam mumbled under his breath. 

Dean heard him though, “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Well I didn’t get much on current events but I did ask him about the first time we met him at that college. Turns out he did have pretty good reasons to do what he did.”

“You’re justifying him killing people?” Dean asked in shock. Didn’t they already go through all this with Ruby trying to corrupt him. 

Sam winced, knowing what Dean was thinking, but relaying what Loki had told him about the people and how the professor was his own fault. 

Dean was silent for a long time before he nodded. “Doesn’t mean we have to like it,” he grumbled. 

“I know, and that’s pretty much what I said.”

Dean thought some more about everything that Sam had told him. He was glad that Sam wasn’t keeping secrets from him anymore, but really didn’t like the trickster keeping secrets from them both. “So he knows what the demons are planning for you but won’t tell you what it is? I don’t like it.”

“Neither do I Dean, believe me, but right now he is helping me avoid it. If I push him...” Sam didn’t complete the sentence. He didn’t need to. 

“I get you, but I still don’t like it.”

Sam was just glad that Dean was being reasonable. He wasn’t stupid. He knew why. Dean just didn’t want to fight with him. Not now. Not so close to the end, but he was still grateful for it. 

 

The next few months were a blur of cases and research trying to keep Dean out of the pit. Sam was pissed when he found out that Lilith held Dean’s deal. He was pissed at Loki for not telling him. He must have known. Sam hadn’t seen Loki since that night and hadn’t bothered calling him either. He did, however, make his case to Dean about calling Ruby. They had decided to go after Lilith and needed her knife. 

They summoned her into the middle of a devil’s trap. She was pissed to say the least. She had been planning to lay low until Dean was gone and then wait until Sam was a mess and rush in to rescue him. “What the hell Sam? You told me to stay away and I did.”

“Yes you did, which is why I’m going to let you leave again as long as you hand over the knife,” he saw her indecision so he added, “Or we exorcize you and then take it anyway.”

If looks could kill he would have been dust with the glare she was leveling at him. She reached into the back of her pants and handed him the knife. Sam reached down and broke the devil’s trap, and when she started towards him, he just held out the knife. “I don’t think so Ruby. Leave or die.” Her glare intensified as she turned around and left. 

Dean had been leaning against the wall arms crossed, letting Sam deal with the demon bitch. “Nice job Sammy. I still think we should have gotten rid of her anyway though.”

“Probably, but this way she owes us one and she knows it.”

“I like the way you think,” Dean nodded approvingly. 

 

Loki is sitting around his beach house with a few girls he conjured up tending to his every whim, but he is thinking about Sam. He hasn’t heard from him in a few months. He knows today is the day. The day Dean’s deal is up and he ends up in hell. He hasn’t really decided what to do about it. Oh he can’t save Dean, that’s a given, but should he be there for Sam or would Sam rather he stay away? He still hadn’t made up his mind yet when he heard the hunter call for help. He popped in invisible and saw the hellhound coming for Dean. He didn’t want to see that so he looked over at Sam and saw something worse. The horror and pain on Sam’s face as he watched his brother die nearly broke the heart that he hadn’t realized he still had, so he looked at the demon in the room. Lilith. He was glad that he was able to cloak his presence so completely. If he were simply invisible she would have seen him, and not only that, but she would have known what he really was; that he wasn’t the pagan god he pretended to be. Her obvious pleasure at the brothers’ pain just filled him with fury and he really wished he could kill her, but that would bring his brothers down on him quick as lightning, and if he could steer Sam away from his destiny there would be no need to kill her. 

He heard the cry for help again as a white light flew from her hands and he placed a quick shield up over Sam. Obviously she wasn’t planning to kill him. She needed him after all, but Loki didn’t want to know what that light would actually do to the hunter. He smirked at the fear on her face when it didn’t faze the younger Winchester and watched her flee from him, apparently thinking that he had done something to stop it and she wanted no parts of whatever it was that he had done. 

That smirk faded when he saw Sam fall to his knees at his brother’s side sobbing and cradling his dead body. He sighed and made himself visible again as he walked over to Sam and tentatively placed a hand on the hunter’s shoulder. “I’m sorry Sam,” he said sincerely as he knelt next to him. He was certainly not expecting to have an armful of sobbing hunter in his lap a second later. He just wrapped his arms around the much larger man and rubbed his back soothingly. It was refreshing that he still knew how to do this after so long away from home. His youngest brothers had often needed this kind of reassurance and it had fallen to him more often than not to provide it. It was jarring to him to suddenly be in this position again, but he pushed his discomfort away and focused on the man in his arms. 

As Sam’s sobs turned to sniffles he said softly, “We really need to get out of here kiddo. Memory modification is a pain if the police find us here.”

He felt Sam’s nod against his neck. “Not without Dean,” he said brokenly. 

Loki had long known of human’s preoccupation with preserving the empty bodies of loved ones so he had always intended on taking the older Winchester’s body with them. He snapped his fingers and cleaned up Dean’s body so that he looked as good as new save for the vacant look in his eyes and the paleness of his skin, and then snapped again and they were in the boys’ motel room, Dean’s body resting on his bed and he and Sam still tangled together on Sam’s. He shifted their position to where they were laying down. He knew that Sam would cry himself to sleep soon and he definitely didn’t want to be stuck sitting in this uncomfortable position all night. He lay them down with Sam’s head on his chest and ran his fingers through the taller man’s hair as Sam’s grip around his waist tightened as he cried. 

Once Sam’s breathing had evened out and he had fallen asleep, Loki went to move off the bed, but Sam’s grip around his waist tightened once more which began in internal debate. He had moved them into this position so that he could more easily extract himself without disturbing the hunter, but it seemed that moving would disturb him anyway, which he was surprised to learn that he was loathe to do, but it had been thousands of years since he had had this much contact with another being. Even the ones he conjured up for sex was with a minimum of touching involved. Hell he hadn’t even been kissed for longer than he cared to remember until Sam kissed him in that warehouse, and why for the love of all that’s holy did he have to remember that now of all times? When he had the hunter laying practically on top of him in bed? He reached down and adjusted himself to relieve some of the discomfort in his pants as he closed his eyes and willed his erection to go away. He just couldn’t bring himself to move so he settled down for the night. He really wasn’t good at being still for long periods of time, but somehow he managed. 

When Sam began to stir the next morning, Loki unconsciously reached over and ran his fingers through Sam’s hair. “How you doin kiddo?” he asked softly. 

Sam looked up at him alarmed, and then remembered the previous night’s events. He closed his eyes and said sadly, “I’m guessing that wasn’t a nightmare then.”

“Fraid not kiddo.” Sam sighed and sat up looking over to Dean’s body lying on the other bed. “I wasn’t sure what you wanted to do with him,” Loki explained. 

“I guess…guess I should…should bury him,” Sam said with a broken voice. 

Loki nodded, “Did you have a place in mind? I can zap us there if you want.”

“I…I don’t know,” Sam said. 

Loki stood and held out a hand. “Come with me. I have a place that would work. Let’s see if you like it.”

Sam reached up and took Loki’s hand and they suddenly reappeared in a large open field surrounded by trees and a large pond being fed by a waterfall to the north. He noticed a small house at the south end of the field. “Does someone live here?” Sam asked unsure if he wanted to bury his brother’s body so close to someone’s home. 

“That is one of my houses. I like the peace here,” Loki said. He had no idea why he had brought the hunter here. This was his sanctuary. No one had ever been here before, and when Dean was raised from hell, he knew that his sanctuary would be ruined. He could fix it of course, but that wasn’t the point. Or maybe it was the point. 

“It’s beautiful,” Sam said in awe. “It’s perfect. You…um…you don’t mind?”

He should mind. He should say hell no you aren’t intruding here and messing up my sanctuary, but what he actually said was, “No I don’t.”

Sam nodded at him and said with a watery smile, “Can you bring Dean?”

Loki snapped his fingers and Dean’s body appeared on the ground next to them. “I can do the hole too,” Loki offered, but Sam stopped him.

“No don’t. I need to,” Sam said tears pooling in his eyes. 

Loki just nodded and snapped up a shovel. Just one though. Loki certainly wasn’t going to use one. However, if Sam noticed more dirt disappearing than he was shoveling he didn’t say anything about it. Once the hole was dug Sam looked to Loki again. “Do you think you could snap up a…um…coffin,” his voice broke on the last word. Loki snapped his fingers and snapped up a box that seemed nice and sturdy but would easily fall apart when Dean woke. 

Loki watched on sadly as Sam put his brother into the ground. He wished he could tell the hunter that it wasn’t permanent, but it would raise too many questions. He knew that at least this part of destiny had to play out. He hadn’t saved Dean from breaking the first seal, but he was determined to save Sam from breaking the last. 

 

Sam stood there and looked at the ground for a while until he heard a snap and there was an elegant marble cross at the head of the grave. He turned and gave Loki a sad smile, which he was surprised to see the god return. “Can we…” Sam trailed off looking at the house. He didn’t really want to impose, but he figured if Loki let him bury his brother here how much more of an imposition would it be to go into the house. 

Loki stifled his sigh. He should have known this was coming. He should have known before he ever brought the hunter here. He had plenty of homes around the world that he was comfortable letting people into, but he had to bring the hunter to one of the few he wanted to keep to himself. Just because he thought Sam might want to bury his brother in a peaceful place. There was seriously something wrong with him, but it’s not like he could say no now. He had come too far for that so he just nodded and started walking towards the house surreptitiously using his powers to clean all the dust that he was sure had accumulated since the last time he was here a few decades ago. 

To say he was surprised when Sam fell into step beside him and took his hand would be the understatement of the century, but he supposed he hunter just needed comfort so he gave a mental shrug and gave the hunters hand a short reassuring squeeze and expected that to be the end of it. He didn’t expect Sam to thread their fingers together. 

Sam couldn’t say why he reached out to hold Loki’s hand, except that he had been there for Sam. He had already told Sam that there was no way he could save Dean, but he was still there. He had held Sam during his embarrassing emotion breakdown last night, and stayed while he slept. He had brought Sam to this beautiful place and helped him lay his brother to rest, and now was willing to share his sanctuary with Sam. All of that meant a lot to the young hunter and he wasn’t sure how else to show it. When Loki squeezed his hand, Sam let out a small smile and threaded their fingers together as they walked towards what could only be termed as a cabin. It definitely wasn’t a place he would have pictured Loki liking, but he supposed he had a lot to learn about the god, and found himself hoping he would get the chance. As they reached the door he noticed Loki’s hesitation as he reached for the handle. He figured that Loki didn’t often have anyone else over here, and Sam felt privileged to be one of them. 

Loki had never felt more exposed than he did in this moment, but he shook it off. It certainly wouldn’t do to let Sam see his discomfort and he strolled in and plopped himself sideways in the chair next to the fireplace with his legs hanging lazily over the side and snapped his fingers creating a full tea service, cookies and cakes included. 

Sam took in the view of the room for a moment, it was filled with warm browns and creams, with just a dash of garish orange and bright green in the accents. Somehow it suited Loki, Sam thought as he tentatively sat down on the couch across from Loki. “Thank you for all this,” Sam said. It was completely inadequate, but it had to be said. Sam’s brain was still mush from the trauma of watching his brother die and he was just going through the motions without even thinking about it as he grabbed a square of carrot cake and poured some tea. Loki of course had a mug of hot chocolate, complete with marshmallows. 

Loki just shrugged. The hunter was seriously throwing him off his game. When he realized that conversation wasn’t forthcoming he just snapped up some string and wrapped it around his fingers making a cat’s cradle, followed by many other designs as Sam just stared into the fire absently. It seemed like forever before Sam spoke again.

“You stopped whatever that was that Lilith threw at me.” 

“Yup,” Loki replied. 

“I didn’t see you,” Sam said. 

“I was cloaked. I couldn’t let her see me,” Loki explained.

“How long were you there?”

“Since you called the first time,” Loki paused. “I couldn’t interfere with Dean. I’m sorry kiddo.”

Sam’s eyes filled with tears and he continued staring into the fire in silence. After another long silence Sam spoke again. He remembered the anger he had felt towards the little god, but didn’t have the strength to get angry now. “Why didn’t you tell us that Lilith held the contract?”

Loki sighed. “Because you would have gone after her, and you would have lost. Badly. That little knife you had wouldn’t have killed her. It only works on lower or mid-level demons. You would have ended up her prisoners and spent the end of Dean’s life being locked up and tortured, and she would have kept you as her prize after Dean was taken for his deal. You didn’t need to know,” Loki said seriously. 

“But she ran when I came after her with the knife,” Sam said confused. 

“She ran because she was scared of you. She didn’t know what you did to stop her blast and she didn’t want to take the chance with that kind of power.” When Sam opened his mouth to protest Loki cut him off, “Yes I know that you weren’t the one to stop it, but she didn’t know that. I was completely invisible to all of her senses, both natural and extended, and it took a whole lot of power to stop that blast.”

“Could you have killed her?” Sam asked softly not sure if he wanted to know the answer. 

“Technically yes, but it would have had serious consequences and drawn a ton of unwanted attention, but it wouldn’t have made a difference with Dean’s contract. It would have just fallen to one of her subordinates. It’s not that easy to get out of a contract Samsquatch,” Loki assured him. 

Sam nodded. Ruby had implied that it was, but he had long figured out that Ruby was just trying to manipulate him. It made sense that she would lie about that. He trusted Loki much more than the demon. As much as he wanted Lilith dead, he understood why Loki didn’t kill her. 

Sam went silent again, so Loki went back to playing with his string. It was a couple hours before he noticed that Sam had fallen asleep. Loki snapped his fingers and sent Sam back to his motel room grateful for the excuse to get him out of there. He briefly considered how Sam would feel waking up alone in the motel after everything, but put it out of his mind. He needed some space to figure out what the hell the hunter was doing to him and he hadn’t spent an entire 24 hours with someone since he had left home a few thousand years ago. 

 

Sam woke the next morning and out of habit looked to the next bed for Dean. When he didn’t see his brother there, everything came rushing back. Dean dying, Loki taking care of him, burying his brother and he realized that he must have fallen asleep at Loki’s house and been transported back here. Loki must have figured that he’d done his part, which made Sam feel even worse, but he couldn’t blame him. Loki had done more than he had ever agreed to, and Sam vowed to only call on the god in case of emergency. There was no need to cause him any more trouble than he already had.

Sam sighed and got out of bed, and after calling Bobby and letting him know what had happened, he did the only thing he could think to do. Look for a case. He needed to get back to work. He had failed to save Dean, but there were still plenty of people out there to save. He took case after case, and didn’t even realize when he was running himself ragged. He was still talking to Bobby, but not often, and then one day, Ruby was back. She killed the demons that had been gunning for him, that she had led to him, and tried to get back in his good graces. Before she could even finish her pitch though she had the knife in her chest. He gave her dead body a kick for good measure, and beat it before anyone could happen on all the dead bodies in the room. He didn’t even try to hide them not thinking of the fact that this was his motel room and sure he had given a fake name and ID as always, but the clerk could probably give a pretty good description of him if he had been paying attention. It was stupid and reckless and it was definitely noticed by his silent watcher. 

Loki had still not figured out what it was about Sam Winchester that had him so tied up in knots, but he kept an eye on him, waiting for the kid to call him, but he never did. Not when he was almost vampire chow in Houston. Not when he was tied down by some ghouls in Denver. Not when he was surrounded by six demons in Charleston. Loki threw some unseen powers around and got him out of those situations, but wasn’t going to show unless Sam called him. He was really getting frustrated though. He was going off the rails like he said he wouldn’t. When Sam just walked out and left a pile of dead bodies in his motel room though that was the last straw. Loki snapped his fingers and made the bodies disappear and followed Sam to his next port of call. 

Sam woke the next morning and the first thing he noticed was that he wasn’t on the bed where he had fallen asleep. The second thing was that the knife wasn’t under his pillow. In fact, he didn’t have a pillow at all and seemed to be on a couch. All that went through his mind in under a second before he heard a voice next to him say, “Let us talk of your current behavior hmm?” He looked up and saw someone who looked just like Sigmund Freud, and yep. The nameplate on the desk proved it. He realized that he was laying on an old fashioned couch and that’s when the lightbulb came on in his brain. He was doing exactly what he had promised Loki not to do. He was being stupid and reckless and running himself into the ground and the little god had apparently decided to do something about it. 

“Ok Loki. I get it,” Sam called to the room, but nothing happened. Sam sighed. He was apparently expected to go through with this counseling session before he could get out, and when he finally found himself back in his hotel room a few hours later he wouldn’t admit how much it had helped.

“The man’s nuttier than a fruitcake, but he’s good huh Samsquatch?” 

“Loki!” Sam turned and sobered at the barely concealed anger in Loki’s eyes, even though nothing else of his countenance betrayed any anger as he leaned casually against the wall with one foot propped up on the wall, knee jutting out and his arms crossed loosely over his chest. “Loki I’m sorry. I kinda um…”

“Lost your freaking mind? Yeah. You did.”

“I didn’t think…” Sam started before he was interrupted.

“Obviously not,” Loki drawled. 

Sam was taken aback at how much Loki apparently cared. Loki had said he was helping Sam because he wanted to derail the demon’s plans for him, but Sam was pretty sure he hadn’t been doing anything like that. I mean the only demons that came near him were killed. He wasn’t even chasing any demons. So that meant there was another reason. Sam couldn’t help himself anymore. He grabbed the front of Loki’s shirt and pulled him forward pressing his lips against the god’s. He had finally come to terms with the fact that he had developed feelings for the guy, but he had thought that Loki was done with him when he dumped him in his motel room and didn’t come back. That thought hit him and he broke the kiss and took a few steps back. “You left me,” Sam said. 

“What. Did you think I was gonna stick around and hold your hand forever?” Loki snorted. He knew he was being unnecessarily cruel, but he was already angry when he got here and now Sam was stirring up all sorts of feelings that he didn’t want to think about. He had to get some distance. “We had a deal. I protect you and you stay sane. I’m getting tired of yanking your ass out of the fire because you go in half-cocked.”

Sam ignored the icy feeling in his gut at Loki’s words. He didn’t know what to think. Loki worried about him, took steps to make him feel better and then started this. He felt like he was being pulled in so many directions that he didn’t know which way was up anymore. Sam just sighed and threw himself backwards on his bed throwing his arm over his eyes in frustration. “Well you’ve pulled me back from the edge, so your job is done. You’re free to go.”

Loki frowned and disappeared. Sam just lay there for a moment. How could he have been so stupid? He should have known better than to kiss Loki like that. 

 

Loki appeared in his house on Mt. Everest in a snit. He threw himself petulantly on his couch and crossed his arms. He couldn’t get the feel of Sam’s lips out of his head. He was surprised at how much he had enjoyed it. How much he wanted it. Wanted more. Suddenly it was like the switch was flipped in his brain and he groaned and let his head fall backwards bouncing off the back of the couch. How the hell had he fallen in love with the idiot? That was about the stupidest thing he could have ever done. How did he get himself into these situations? 

He snapped up a chocolate cake and ate the whole thing feeling sorry for himself, before he allowed himself to consider what he could possibly do about it. Sam had kissed him. Twice now actually, so it was a pretty good bet that he would be receptive of his feelings. At least somewhat, but he had no idea how to do this whole love thing. He had never dealt with something like this before and to have it be with Lucifer’s vessel no less? This was a disaster waiting to happen. 

Loki paced back and forth for a while running over things in his mind before he came to the conclusion that A: it was too late to stop loving Sam and B: he had never been one to deny himself anything that he really wanted so he just snapped his fingers bringing Sam to him. He winced as Sam appeared a few feet above the floor and crashed into it. He hadn’t considered the fact that Sam could have still been lying in bed. He watched the hunter scramble to his feet and look around wildly until his eyes fell on Loki and he just looked confused. 

Loki just stalked towards Sam and said, “What the hell are you doing to me Winchester?” as he pulled Sam’s lips down to meet his in a bruising kiss, pressing himself flush against the hunter when he felt strong arms wrap around his waist. He nipped at Sam’s lower lip and wasted no time plunging his tongue into the hunter’s mouth when it fell open in surprise. Sam kissed him back just as eagerly, his tongue joining the dance. It wasn’t until he felt Sam’s back hit the wall that Loki tore himself away and let his forehead fall onto Sam’s shoulder. 

“L…Loki?” Sam stuttered breathing heavily. “I…um…not that I’m complaining, but…um…what?”

Loki spoke so quietly Sam had to strain to hear it. “I thought I lost the ability to feel centuries ago. What have you done to me?” 

Sam smiled brightly at that. Sure it wasn’t exactly a postcard declaration of love, but the enigmatic god had admitted to feeling something for Sam and he couldn’t help but be thrilled. He began to understand what had happened in the hotel now. For someone who hadn’t felt anything in centuries suddenly being confronted with those feelings had to be off-putting and he understood the man in his arms well enough to know that he wouldn’t have taken that well, so he lashed out. He put his hand over Loki’s jaw and lifted his head enough to capture his lips in another kiss. This time slow and sweet as he crushed the smaller body close to him. 

Loki responded eagerly, and gasped and pressed his hips forward into Sam’s when the hunter’s lips moved from his mouth down to his neck. Sam let out a hiss of pleasure, before whispering in Loki’s ear, “You got a bedroom in this place?” Sam had barely finished speaking before he was suddenly laying on the most comfortable bed he had ever felt, though all of his attention was on the god laying on top of him. 

 

After Loki had cleaned them up with a snap of his fingers, Sam reached over and pulled him against his side so that Loki’s head was lying on Sam’s shoulder and he leaned his head against the sandy hair and smiled. “Sam I…I don’t…” Loki hated feeling lost and vulnerable. Despised it even, but he didn’t want to lash out at the hunter again. Not after that. He sighed and finally admitted, “I have no idea what I’m doing with this.”

That could have had so many meanings, but Sam knew what his lover meant. “That’s okay Loki. We’ll figure it out together,” he said dropping a kiss on Loki’s head, and Loki couldn’t help but be reassured by that. Sam turned to look out the window for the first time and saw snow, but the last he had known it was the beginning of July so that didn’t make sense. “Um Loki? Where are we?” It was something he admittedly should have asked hours ago, but he had been rather distracted. 

“Mt Everest,” Loki mumbled sheepishly. He probably shouldn’t have just abducted the hunter like that, or if he had, he should have taken him to one of his beach houses rather than this dreary place, but Sam just laughed and tightened his grip for a moment. 

“So out of curiosity,” Sam began.

“Yeah because you have so much of that,” Loki quipped good-naturedly.

“Point,” Sam said with a chuckle. “But why Mt. Everest?”

Loki just shrugged. “This is where I go to brood.” 

That brought another laugh out of Sam. Leave it to Loki to have a house just for brooding. Sam couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled. It had been way too long. It seemed like the god next to him was saving him all over again. 

Loki laughed with him and just snapped his fingers. It took Sam a moment to reorient himself. The first difference he noticed was that the colors in this room were much brighter, and then his gaze wandered to his left where over Loki’s head he could see a large balcony overlooking a roaring ocean. He just shook his head. “I’m never gonna get used to that,” he said wryly. 

“Better?” Loki asked with a smirk.

“Much,” Sam said pressing another kiss to Loki’s lips which quickly became much more as they became lost in each other once again. 

A few hours later Sam had drifted off to blissful sleep, and Loki had no intention of moving for a while. 

 

When Loki noticed the sun peeking over the horizon and slipped out of bed and pulled on his silk robe as he walked out to the balcony and snapped up a glass of wine. He just watched the sun rise over the water as he lost himself in thought. He was probably making the biggest mistake of his long life, and that was really saying something, but he just couldn’t bring himself to care. 

It was just a few minutes later when he felt two strong arms wrap around him from behind and warm lips against his neck. “It’s beautiful,” Sam murmured in awe as he rested his cheek against the side of Loki’s head. Loki smiled brightly. Nope. Don’t care a bit. 

 

After watching the sunrise together, Loki led Sam downstairs where he snapped up a big breakfast for two. Well really it should have fed ten, but they both had very healthy appetites. Then they went down to the beach and Loki snapped them both up some swim trunks. Once they got there and Loki snapped up a hammock and settled himself in it with some sort of fruity drink with a little umbrella in it, Sam couldn’t contain his curiosity anymore. “Ok where are we?”

“Wow you actually lasted a lot longer than I thought before bursting at the seams Samsquatch,” Loki said with a laugh. 

“Well you’ve kept me pretty well distracted,” Sam said suggestively. Loki waggled his eyebrows at the hunter. Sam waited a few minutes but when Loki still didn’t answer Sam asked again, “So where are we?”

Loki laughed loudly, “A little undiscovered, thus unnamed island in the tropics, about halfway between Central America and Northern Africa. You want latitude and longitude or that specific enough for you?” he asked with a smirk. Sam responded by kicking some sand at his lounging lover who pouted. “You got sand in my drink. Not nice.”

“So sorry your highness. Shall I bring you another?” Sam said sarcastically.

Loki got a mischievous glint in his eye as he snapped his fingers and his drink appeared above Sam’s head and promptly dumped itself on the now sputtering hunter. Loki just leaned back with a smirk and snapped himself up another drink. He probably shouldn’t have closed his eyes though, because he was then very surprised to find his drink swiftly removed from his hand and dumped on him. He jumped in surprise causing the hammock to swing upside down and dump him in the sand. 

Sam was laughing so hard he was doubled over holding his sides, as Loki just looked up and grinned evilly at him. “I hope you know this means war Samsquatch,” he said as he snapped his fingers and Sam suddenly reappeared about a foot over the ocean. Loki picked himself up off the ground and realized that the combination of sticky cocktail and sand was not a good one so he shrugged as he snapped and appeared about 4 feet above Sam’s head and a little to the left and let himself fall with his knees tucked to his chest just as Sam surfaced, drenching the hunter with another tidal wave of water. 

He surfaced just as Sam stopped sputtering. “Loki you little shit,” Sam said playfully. 

“Why are you quoting ancient Norse proverbs at me Sammy?” he asked with a laugh. 

Sam laughed too, “No it’s not…is it?” He was pretty sure the god was just putting him on. 

“Might as well be,” he said ducking under the water to avoid the wave that Sam tried to splash at him and grabbing the hunter’s ankles pulling him down and capturing the hunter in an underwater kiss and wrapping his legs around Sam’s waist. They surfaced still locked together as one of Sam’s hands reached up to tangle in Loki’s hair, the other at the small of his back holding him tightly. Sam pulled Loki’s hair gently pulling his head to the side so he could attack Loki’s neck unimpeded. Loki let out a breathy moan followed by a chuckle. “In the water Samsquatch? Didn’t know you had it in you.” He showed his approval of the idea by snapping and causing their shorts to disappear drawing a whimpering moan from Sam at the increased contact.

 

Once they were spent, Loki snapped them both back to the hammock and wrapped his arms around the hunter holding them together. Sam rested his head on Loki’s shoulder and idly traced out nonsensical shapes on his lover’s firm chest and stomach. Sam’s mind went back to the day that he wondered if Loki’s entire body held the lean muscle that he had felt on his arm. He now had his answer. He pressed a kiss to Loki’s chest and just lost himself in the moment, not thinking; only feeling as Loki’s hands danced over his back and his arm. So when the words tumbled from his mouth, it was not entirely conscious. “I love you Loki,” he whispered.

He stopped breathing when Loki froze. He hoped he hadn’t made a mistake, but he couldn’t bring himself to take it back. He would never take it back. He felt Loki let out a shaky breath before his hands resumed their dance, and Sam found himself breathing again. He didn’t care if Loki didn’t say the words. He didn’t care if Loki didn’t love him yet. He only cared that the god continue this and gave it a chance to become more. 

When Loki heard those words from Sam’s lips he was shocked. He hadn’t dreamed that the hunter could feel so strongly for him. His next feeling was remorse, and he let out a shaky breath, because he knew that the hunter didn’t really know him. DIdn’t know who or what he was, but then he realized that it didn’t matter and he felt grateful. He let his hands continue roaming the hard body on top of him. He could never deserve the love of someone so pure and special but he had it anyway, and he would do whatever he could to make sure Sam never regretted it. It was a long while later before he realized that he hadn’t said anything to the hunter’s confession, and he was heartened by the fact that he apparently hadn’t needed to as the moment was just as sweet and perfect and relaxed as it was before those life changing words had escaped his lips. He didn’t need to, but he wanted to. Wanted the hunter know that he was loved. That he was valued. That he was worth more than the world to Loki. “I love you Sammy,” he whispered. He felt the smile against his shoulder and wondered how he had ever gotten so lucky. 

 

It wasn’t until Sam’s stomach growled that he realized that it was well past lunch time and Loki let out a little chuckle as he reluctantly extracted himself from the hunter before pulling Sam to his feet beside him. Rather than go inside to eat, Loki just snapped his fingers, and they had a full luau setup complete with the pig with an apple in its mouth. Loki just grabbed a pineapple slice and popped it in his mouth happily as Sam shook his head and grabbed some pork and started eating. Neither of them felt the need to use plates or utensils as they just popped food from the various plates directly into their mouths, dipping things in various sauces as they saw fit. 

Looking back, Sam wasn’t exactly sure where the food fight began or who had started it, but it ended with them both laying in the sand helpless with laughter as the sand mixed with all the food coating their bodies. It was starting to get a bit uncomfortable, but Sam was too busy laughing to care. Once their laughter was spent Loki rolled so that he was facing Sam and said with a waggle of his eyebrows, “What say we clean each other up eh Samsquatch?” 

“Oh so that’s why you started the food fight,” Sam said teasingly. 

“Oh no little hunter. I believe the first projectile came from you if I remember correctly,” Loki said with a laugh. 

Sam just smirked and said, “Not my fault pineapple is slippery.”

“It is when you’re ten feet away and it hits me between the eyes, nice aim by the way.”

“Says the guy who managed to fling sauce into a smiley face on my stomach from the same distance.”

Loki just waved his arm showily, “What can I say? I have awesome godly powers that lend themselves well to the art of food war.”

“You keep telling yourself that, but we both know who won that war,” Sam said cheekily. 

“Oh we do, do we?” Loki said warningly as he dove on top of Sam and transported them over the water. Laughing at Sam’s yell as the plummeted down crashing into the surface. 

An hour later found them both floating on their backs on top of the water, hands and arms and legs brushing against each other as the current pushed them together. It amazed Loki how the current never pulled them apart, never even let them get farther than an arm length apart before guiding them back together. He wondered idly if even the ocean knew that they belonged together and saw fit to keep them that way. He had never understood before. Never understood how two beings could fit together so completely. He had been created billions of years ago, before the concept of time even existed and somehow he had found his belonging in this one little insignificant human. He felt something bubbling to the surface of his very being and it took him a moment to realize what it was. It was happiness. It was never meant for him. Sam was never meant for him, but they had found their way together and he would make sure that his big brother never got his hands on his Sam if he had to raze both heaven and hell to the ground in the process. He had chosen his side and nothing would stand in his way. His lips quirked in a smile as the waves pushed him against his lover again and he grabbed Sam’s hand and drew it to his mouth kissing it softly. 

 

Loki managed to keep Sam there safe and happy for almost a week before he noticed Sam starting to get antsy. He had expected it sooner really. It was nearly time for reality to intrude again. Loki sighed. A reality where Sam rushed headlong into danger on a regular basis trying to save everyone. A job that Loki had no place in. Oh he knew that Sam would call for him if he needed him now, and that Loki would likely spend his nights at the hunter’s side, but their carefree days of frolicking on the beach were almost over, and he knew that he needed to have a talk with Sam before they left. 

Loki snapped up a fancy dinner, and sat Sam down to eat. He picked at his food for a while, trying to figure out how to start the conversation. Sam noticed his inattention to the meal and asked, “What’s wrong Loki?”

“It’s just…you probably know I have secrets Sam.” At Sam’s confused nod Loki continued, “Some of them big secrets. Secrets I’m not ready to share with anyone. But I feel like I’m being unfair to you by not telling you. Like I’m…I don’t know…living a lie or something.”

Sam understood what was bothering his lover now and rushed to reassure him. “You’re not living a lie Loki. I know you have your secrets. Everyone does. I hope that someday you’ll feel comfortable sharing them with me, but you don’t have to.” He reached over and took Loki’s hand. “I know everything I need to know to know that I love you, and that’s all that matters right now. We have plenty of time for the rest.”

“I promise you Sam, that I will share them with you one day. Maybe even one day soon,” Loki said with a smile. He could only hope that Sam remembers this when he finds out Loki’s biggest secret. Little did he know that day would be coming sooner than he thought.

 

The next morning as Sam lay sleeping, Loki looked down at the hunter with a sad smile. It was time for them to leave. When he felt Sam begin to stir he leaned down and woke him with a slow loving kiss. Over breakfast he broached the subject. “You should probably go see Bobby. He’s probably worried sick about you.”

Sam looked up confused. “You want me to leave?” 

“No! I would keep you here forever if I could. But you belong out there in the real world. I can see how antsy you’re getting. You need to be out there doing something.”

“But what about you?” Sam asked. He knew it was unreasonable but he felt like this was an ending. 

“You know I’m only a call away. Anytime you need me, or just want me to drop by, you know how to contact me.”

“And if I want you there all the time?” Sam asked. 

Loki smiled, “I’m not a hunter Samsquatch. Honestly it would drive me crazy to try to be one. I’ll leave that in your capable hands. But I’ll always be available when you want to do non-hunterish things.”

“But we can come back here sometime right?” Sam asked hopefully. 

“Of course,” Loki said happily. “Here or any of my other homes. I plan to show you them all someday. I only have one really secret one and that’s the first one you saw,” he said with a laugh. 

“How many do you have?” 

“Eighteen, at least one on every continent, more than one on most,” he said smugly. 

“Do they all have themes?” Sam asked with a smirk.

“Huh?” 

“Well you have your place for peace in that clearing, your broody place on Mt Everest, and this is obviously your fun place…”

“Huh. I hadn’t thought of that. They are all very different and cater to different moods that I’m in,” Loki said with a shrug shoveling a mouthful of his pancakes. 

“So where will you be staying while I’m off doing my ‘hunterish things’” Sam asked curiously. 

“Probably my ‘peaceful place’ as you call it. It’s been decades since I’ve spent any real time there, and I feel the need to reconnect lately,” He waved his fork towards the hunter, “It’s all your fault really.”

Sam chuckled, “I’ll gladly take the blame for bringing you peace.”

They ate in comfortable silence for a while before a question suddenly dawned on Sam. “Um Loki? Whatever happened to the car and my stuff that was in the motel room?”

Loki’s mouth fell open for a moment before he started laughing hysterically. At Sam’s bitchface he just laughed harder. Once he had himself somewhat under control again he managed to say, “I’m sorry kiddo, it’s just…you’ve been here for a week and you’re just now asking about that?” He laughed for a few more moments, “Right sorry, it’s in the garage.”

Sam looked dumbfounded for a moment, “You have a garage?” That sent Loki into another fit of laughter and this time he was followed by Sam. 

 

After breakfast Sam took one last look around before letting Loki lead him to the garage. He got in the car and Loki snapped him to the street outside Singer Salvage. Sam hadn’t even made it to the door before it swung open and he was crushed into a hug by the old hunter. “Damn good to see you boy.” Bobby had been really worried about Sam. He had heard through the hunter grapevine of his close calls and apparent recklessness. He pulled away and took a good look at Sam. “You look good. Too good. What have you been up to?” He asked suspiciously.

Sam smiled sheepishly. “Well I was apparently being a little too reckless and stupid so a friend stepped in and abducted me for a beach vacation for the last week.

“What aren’t you telling me boy?” Bobby knew well when his boys were skirting the truth. 

“Well…um…the friend happens to be a Norse god and is kinda more than a friend,” Sam said nervously. 

Bobby reached over to his desk and poured a double shot of whiskey and downed it in one gulp. “Ok I must have heard wrong. I thought you said you were sexing up a pagan god on a beach.”

Sam’s lips quirked at hearing it put like that but forced himself to keep a straight face. “Essentially.”

Bobby downed another double shot before he sat down and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Which one?” He asked in a pained voice. 

“Loki,” Sam said in a small voice waiting for the explosion. 

He was surprised when he didn’t get one. “Huh. Knew he was more than a simple trickster. Shoulda pegged him as Loki.” Sam just looked at him confused. “I’m not stupid boy. I knew that he was just playing with us at that college, but he let us go. No simple trickster would do that.”

“You knew he was playing and let us go?” Sam asked shocked.

“Course I did. Use your head. Two clumsy chainsaw guys and a couple porn stars? He could have brought a lot more down on us, and when we staked him, just they disappeared. How many auditoriums do you know that come equipped with a love bed?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because you idgets would have wanted to keep going after him and that would have been pointless and risky. I at least have some measure of self-preservation.”

 

Once Sam was safely with Bobby, Loki snapped himself to his cabin and took a walk down to the waterfall. On his way back his eyes touched on the marble cross he had placed there and it suddenly dawned on him what he needed to do. He had told himself that he would raze heaven and hell for Sam. It was time to prove it. If he could drag Dean out before he broke the first seal then Sam would never be in the line of fire. He couldn’t believe he was going to do something this stupid, but he pushed that thought away and instead thought about the preparations he would need to make. 

He popped into Bobby’s house just in time to hear him say that he had self-preservation and said wryly, “Well at least someone in this house does,” looking at Sam.

“I said I was sorry,” Sam protested. 

Bobby just raised his eyebrow at the being that popped in. He was no fool. He could see the devotion in the little being’s eyes and knew that there was more than a romp on the sand between those two. It made him nervous, but he would keep his mouth shut. 

“Bobby,” Loki nodded at the man. “Nice to see you again,” he tried to pull off sincere. He was here for a reason after all and didn’t have time to deal with any drama. When the old man nodded at him in return Loki turned back to Sam. “Sammy I’m gonna need you to do me a favor and not ask too many questions just yet. I promise I’ll explain everything later.”

Sam looked nervous. “What…what do you need me to do?” 

“First just stand still for a moment,” Loki said as he put his hand on Sam’s chest and closed his eyes and concentrated. Sam felt a sharp stab in his ribs that quickly disappeared. 

“What was that?” Sam asked curiously.

“That was me warding you against being found by anything other than normal human means.” Loki turned to Bobby. “I should probably do you too old man if you’ll let me.”

Bobby looked at Sam. He didn’t really want some trickster god messing with him, but at the pleading look in Sam’s eyes he just sighed and nodded. This was obviously important, and if it did what he said it did then it would come in handy. Bobby sucked in a sharp breath at the stabbing sensation and was relieved when nothing visibly happened. “If this is a trick…”

“It’s not.” Loki interrupted. “Now for the big part of the favor. Sammy I need you to stay here with Bobby, don’t go summoning anything, hunting anything or taking any risks until you hear from me again. I’m going to be out of contact for a while, and I need to know you’ll be at least reasonably safe, and you’re probably going to be being looked for before long.”

“By who? How long will you be gone for? What will you be doing?”

“What did I say about questions?” Loki asked amused. “I should only be gone for about a week, no more than two. I’ll explain the rest later. I’m short on time. Will you do that for me?” Loki asked. He needed to be sure before he left. He wouldn’t risk sacrificing Sam to save Dean, but he needed to be quick. Dean had already been down there more than twenty years by hell time. Who knew how soon he would break? Loki was relieved to get a nod from Sam and gave the hunter a short hard kiss before disappearing, placing a shield over the area so that no one could find it. He doubted that any of his brothers had noted the location of the house, but better safe than sorry. 

He snapped himself back to his clearing before the marble cross, and transported Dean’s body to the ground next to him. His brothers would probably make the man dig his way out of his own grave, but Loki wouldn’t put someone through that. Not someone he liked anyway. He then took a deep breath, steeled himself and plummeted into hell like a comet still questioning his sanity at doing this. 

 

Loki streaked through hell making every attempt to kill anything that laid eyes on him. It wouldn’t do for anyone to find out that an archangel had rescued the righteous man from hell after all. It would be like painting a neon sign saying ‘Gabriel was here’. It took him nearly a year of hell’s time to kill his way to Dean’s side, and he left a pretty impressive mass off destruction in his wake if he said so himself. It had been too long since he had shaken off his wings and been the archangel he was made to be. 

After killing the demon Alistair he rushed over to Dean’s side. “Loki?” Dean asked in awe. “How do you have wings?”

Loki sighed at the damage he could see to Dean’s soul. This would take some work to fix, but he just said, “Long story Deano. Let’s get out of this hellhole,” with a smirk. 

Dean groaned. “Yep you’re real. Even my subconscious wouldn’t make such a bad joke,” he said weakly. 

Loki snapped and Dean’s restraints disappeared and he grabbed the hunter under the arms and started to fly. Dean lost consciousness after the first patrol when Gabriel let his grace out in the battle. It was very restrictive to have to fight one handed as the other hand was busy gripping Dean. It was also draining to have to carry all that extra weight, but he managed somehow. He made it back up to the earth panting from exertion and wincing at all the wounds that he hadn’t been able to avoid. None showed on his physical body though he could sure feel them there. He began the painstaking process of piecing Dean’s soul back together before inserting it back into his body, warding Dean against detection as well as he did so. 

Loki stepped back as Dean started awake and sat up looking around wildly at the devastation around them. “What the hell happened here?”

Loki just shrugged. “Barreling out of hell with a soul in tow causes a bit of a blastwave,” he said catching his breath and snapping his fingers putting everything back to rights as he swayed on his feet. 

Dean jumped up and caught the smaller man before he could fall. “You alright man?” 

Loki winced. He hated being weak. He definitely hated depending on others for help. “Help me to the house?” 

“Sure thing man.” Dean said as he threw Loki’s arm over his shoulder, hunching over so he could reach, and wrapped his arm around Loki’s waist as he supported the god during the walk to the house. He knew he should let the man rest but couldn’t help but ask, “Is Sammy ok? Where is he?”

“He’s fine. With Bobby. I’ll go get him once I rest.” Loki managed to slur. 

That was all Dean absolutely had to know right this second. He was impatient to get to his brother, but he would let the man rest first. It was the least he could do after what Loki had done for him. They made it into the house and Dean deposited Loki on the couch, where he promptly lost consciousness. 

Dean figured it would probably be rude to rummage around in Loki’s house while he was out like a light so walked outside to explore the area. He had to admit that it was nice. He stopped when he saw the grave marker and realized that this is probably where they had buried him. He just shivered and stood there and stared at it for a while. He was having a difficult time wrapping his head around all this, and couldn’t really be bothered to try at that moment. He was too busy being grateful to be back, and as much as he hated it, he was really grateful to Loki for bringing him back. He wouldn’t have thought that one little god would be powerful enough to storm hell, but he wasn’t going to complain. He would want answers though. Eventually. 

Loki woke to find the house empty and he groaned in pain as he lifted himself off the couch. He reached out to sense Dean because of course he put his own tracker on all the people he warded and found him at the waterfall. He smiled as he snapped his fingers and appeared next to the hunter with a plate of sandwiches. He guiltily thought that he probably should have left some food in the house for Dean, but it hadn’t crossed his mind. He didn’t want to snap up a whole feast though. He wasn’t sure if Dean’s stomach could handle it yet. Best to ease him into eating again with something simple. 

“What is this place?” Dean asked in awe as he grabbed one of the sandwiches. 

Loki shrugged self-conciously. “This is my sanctuary. Where I come when I’m searching for peace.”

“You buried me here,” Dean said uncomfortably.

“It seemed fitting. Sammy wouldn’t let me help much though.”

Dean’s head snapped up. He had momentarily forgotten about his little brother. “Sammy…” he said wistfully. 

Loki smiled. “If you want to head back to the house I’ll go get him.” At Dean’s nod Loki disappeared. 

 

Loki appeared back in Bobby’s house eleven days after he had left. When Sam jumped up off the couch and ran to him Loki stifled the whimper at the hunter’s hug and eagerly sank into the kiss. “Sorry kiddo. My errand took a little longer than I thought. But I have a surprise for you,” he looked over his shoulder at Bobby, “You too old man if you want to come.”

“Nah. I think I’ll just stay right here,” Bobby said gruffly. He may have let the god ward him, but he sure wasn’t up to going anywhere with him. 

Loki just shrugged and snapped and he and Sam appeared back in his cabin. Loki swayed a little on his feet. He wasn’t quite up to snuff yet and Sam grabbed for him worriedly and led him to the couch where he sank gratefully into the cushions. “What’s wrong Loki? Are you ok? What happened?” 

That’s when the door opened and Sam swung around, mouth opening in shock. “Loki?” Sam asked brokenly. 

“It’s really him Samsquatch,” Loki said tiredly.

That was all Sam needed to hear as he crossed the room in three strides and pulled his brother into a hug as tears streamed down his face. Dean held on just as tightly as his tears fell as well. It seemed like forever before they pulled apart and Sam just asked, “How?”

Dean shrugged, “Don’t ask me. He did it.” Dean pointed at Loki. 

Sam, not even caring at the moment if Dean knew about him and Loki went over to Loki and kissed him soundly. Dean cleared his throat and raised his eyebrow when Sam looked at him. Sam just shrugged “Long story.”

“Seems like we have a lot of those,” Dean said wryly. He knew he should be pissed at the fact that his brother was apparently sleeping with a god, but after said god dragged him out of hell, he just really didn’t care. 

“Are you ok Loki?” Sam asked noticing his wince combined with his uncharacteristic sluggishness. 

Loki, feeling more weak and exposed than ever, responded a bit more bitingly than he intended. “Well considering how I just spent a year, hell time, clawing my way through, breaking their most prized soul out of maximum security and two more years fighting my way out I’m just peachy Sam thanks.”

Dean started to get pissed at the way Loki was talking to his brother. No matter what he had done it didn’t excuse that, but Sam shook his head at him and turned to his lover. “Get some sleep Loki,” he said placing a soft kiss on the god’s forehead and smiled wryly as he led Dean out the door so they could talk without disturbing Loki. 

Dean wasted no time giving his brother the third degree. “Why do you let him talk to you like that?” he asked angrily. 

“He doesn’t usually. He’s exhausted and probably in pain and having people see him like that makes him a little tetchy. Not to mention that this is his secret place and he doesn’t usually have people here, so it takes him out of his comfort zone,” Sam explained. 

“That’s no excuse,” Dean said. 

“Oh come off it Dean. You do the exact same thing. You’re constantly snapping at me for stupid shit and I don’t hold it against you.”

Dean deflated at that, realizing that his brother was right, and it wasn’t like the guy was abusing him or anything so since it didn’t seem to bother his brother he just let it go. “So how did that happen?”

“Well I know I promised not to go off the rails after you were gone, but turns out that was easier said than done and after bailing me out of my own stupidity a few times Loki got fed up and trapped me in an office with Sigmund Freud for about six hours. When I got out and realized how much he actually cared I just kinda kissed him,” Sam laughed at the memory. “Freaked him out big time and he disappeared. Next thing I know a few hours later my bed disappeared and I’m lying on his floor. He seemed pretty annoyed at first that I had gotten under his skin like that, but the rest is history,” Sam explained knowing that his brother wouldn’t want the details. 

“So is it…um…serious?” Dean asked. 

“Very,” was all Sam said. They had obviously never talked about that, but Sam had gotten the impression that it was very serious and that was before storming hell and rescuing his brother. Sam was perfectly aware that it was all for his sake. Sam was loathe to tell his brother about his great beach vacation knowing that while that was going on his brother had been in hell. 

Dean just nodded. “I wondered why he decided to come after me. I mean if he was always planning on it then it shouldn’t have taken him so long so something must have changed his mind.”

“Loki said something about hell years?” Sam asked tentatively.

Dean sighed. “Yeah. From what I can tell it’s been about two and a half months since I went downstairs?” Dean asked and at Sam’s nod he did some quick math, “So ten hears to a month sounds about right, and no I don’t want to talk about it,” he cut in before Sam could even ask. 

They had happened across the grave marker and Sam sucked in a breath. “Loki brought me here to bury you,” Sam said softly. “This was his sanctuary. His most secret place, but he shared it with me because he knew I wanted you to be someplace nice; peaceful. I didn’t let him dig the hole with his powers. I wanted to do that myself.” Sam had tears running down his face now. Dean wasn’t exactly comfortable with the chick flick moment, but he realized that Sam needed to get it off his chest. “I’m sure he helped without my knowledge though. He made a coffin for you. I wonder if that’s still down there.” Sam sniffled. “He stayed with me all night after it happened. I was a mess. Knowing him like I do now, it must have made him horribly uncomfortable, but he held me as I cried and lay with me while I slept. Then he brought me here.” Dean put a hand on his brother’s shoulder. Sam knew that he was jumping all over the place but he just had to keep talking. After…After you were buried, he made that cross. He walked me back to the house and just sat with me while I stared into the fire for hours. I think that was when I fell in love with him.” Sam looked at his brother with a smile as the tears continued falling from his eyes. 

Dean’s eyes trailed behind Sam just as he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist, and a head nestle between his shoulder blades. Dean patted Sam’s shoulder and walked off towards the waterfall to give them some privacy for a few minutes. “I loved you then too Sammy. It just took me a while to realize it,” Loki said softly as Sam turned in his arms giving the smaller man a soft kiss. 

“You okay?” Sam asked.

“I will be,” Loki said reaching his hand up to cradle the hunter’s jaw. “I guess it’s time for explanations now huh?”

 

After calling Dean back the three of them settled into the house. “Ok where to begin,” Loki said thoughtfully. “I told you Sam that I knew what the demons were planning for you. I knew before I met you that first time, and it involved you both and it wasn’t just the demons plotting. The angels were too.”

“Angels?” Dean cut in. “There’s no such thing.”

“Of course there is,” Loki said. “You just don’t see them because they don’t interact with ‘lowly humans’”

Suddenly Dean remembered the wings he had seen on Loki when they were in hell and gasped looking at him with wide eyes. 

Loki winced realizing that his secret was out. “Ok guess we’re taking a little detour. Remember when I told you I had secrets Sammy?” At Sam’s nod he continued, “Well my biggest secret is that I’m not really a Norse god and my name isn’t really Loki. At least it wasn’t. It’s more who I am now than my original existence is. But anyway. My original name was Gabriel,” he said not daring to meet Sam’s eyes. 

“Gabriel. Like the archangel.” Gabriel nodded sadly. “What happened? Why’d you become Loki?” 

“Things were bad in heaven Sammy. Really bad. I was watching my family tear each other apart. I usually got caught in the crossfire. I was the youngest of the archangels. I wasn’t as strong or as fast as my brothers. I tried to make them stop fighting but then they just turned on me. Then Dad left and things went from bad to worse. I ran away. Faked my death, forged a new identity, and I’ve been running ever since.” 

Sam reached over and squeezed Loki’s…Gabriel’s hand reassuringly and gave the archangel a smile and a nod as he looked at him. He knew that Gabriel expected him to be upset, and he wanted to show that he wasn’t.

Gabriel was glad that Sam seemed to forgive him so he continued trying to steer it back to the original discussion. “I left everything heavenly behind and his here on earth. When I found out you two had been born I was torn for a long while, and then I decided that I was going to try to derail destiny.” When the two hunters looked at him confused he shook his head. “I’m getting ahead of myself. Let’s go back. So the angels and demons had plans for you both. The first step of that plan was to get the righteous man into hell, so I put myself in your path. I didn’t know at the time what could possibly make you sell your soul, but within a day of meeting you two I knew. I knew you would do anything at all to save your brother and given his destiny it just made sense. I led you to me because I wanted to give you another choice. When I realized that you weren’t going to listen and let me help I used the fight to…I guess you could say…tune into you. If either of you gave an open prayer at any time I would hear it, but you never prayed,” he said looking down sadly. Dean just looked guilty. He had messed up so much. 

“Once you sold your soul there was no saving you. You were to go into hell and they were going to make you break the first seal.”

“Seal?” Dean asked. 

“So it is written, the first seal will break as the righteous man sheds innocent blood in hell. As he breaks so too shall it break,” Gabriel said in a faraway voice. “The first seal to open Lucifer’s cage. The first step to the apocalypse.”

“But I didn’t…” Dean trailed off. He knew now why that made that offer to him every day. He would never admit to anyone how close he had been to accepting. 

“I know. I got you out first. The plan was for you to break the seal and then the angels would come and bust you out. You have another part in the story after all, but I’ll get there,” Gabriel said before continuing. “When I found out you were hell-bound I was pissed. Not only at you, but at myself. I couldn’t help but think that there was something I could have done differently. I could have tied you down and made you listen.”

“We wouldn’t have believed you and would have hated you for it,” Sam said sadly knowing that it was the truth. 

“That’s why I didn’t, but anyway, the plan was for Sam to go crazy with your death and go after Lilith for vengeance. That’s why I stepped in and made that deal with you Sammy. I wanted to keep you from doing something you would regret. One of her minions was to get close to you, get you hooked on demon blood, since that is the only way you would be strong enough to kill her and, once all the rest of the seals were broken, that minion would lead you straight to Lilith where her death at your hands would break the final seal. You would be so high from the demon blood that Lucifer would very easily take over your body, leaving Michael to inhabit yours Dean because while all this is going on the angels that rescued you would be indoctrinating you to their way of thinking. You wouldn’t have known that Lucifer was in Sam’s body when you allowed Michael to take yours. Thus would begin the apocalypse. One brother has to kill the other.”

Both brothers sat in dumbfounded silence at the end of the story for a long while. Dean was the first to break the silence. “So you were just gonna leave me there to break the first seal?”

Gabriel nodded guiltily. “I knew that you would get out. The angels would save you, and streaking into hell like I ended up doing would just paint a big target on my back. I think I killed everything that saw me, but there is no way to be sure. If I did though I’ll have a little bit of breathing room, but there aren’t that many things that can break a soul out of hell so I don’t know. The original plan was to wait until they raised you, grab you and hide you both.”

“The warding?” Sam asked.

“Yeah I wasn’t going to take the chance that they would find out before I finished and come after you so I warded you from their sight before I went down there. I warded you too Dean before you woke up.”

Dean let that sink in a bit. He was beyond pissed at the fact that the archangel was going to just stand by and watch, but for Sam’s sake, he forced himself to look at it objectively and had to admit that yeah. He did understand, much as he hated it. “So what changed your mind?” Dean asked. 

“Sam,” he said as he looked over to the hunter. “When I realized how much I loved you I realized that I would raze both heaven and hell to the ground for you. If I could get Dean out before the seal broke it may make things that much harder for me, but that much easier for you. I hope it doesn’t come to it, but if it does I will take on my brothers to protect you. Whatever it takes,” he said softly noticing the tears in Sam’s eyes at that. 

Dean just cleared his throat reminding them that he was still there. Sam pulled Gabriel to his side and kept his arm around him, but refrained from doing any more so as not to upset his brother’s delicate sensibilities. 

“So what happens now? Seems like their plans are pretty much dead in the water,” Sam asked.

“I have no idea. There are too many possibilities. I know that they won’t give up so easily though. They will do whatever they can to get things back on track.”

“Like what?” Dean asked.

“Didn’t I just say I don’t know?” Gabriel snapped at him. At Sam’s look though he wracked his brain for possibilities. “Well trying to get you back into hell is a given Dean, but I can prevent that.”

“How?” Dean asked him.

Gabriel looked a little sheepish. “Well when I had to piece your soul back together I had to use some of my grace to do it. That’s the stuff that makes me an angel and gives me my awesome powers,” he explained. “Well doing that forged a bond between my grace and your soul so I get to decide where your soul goes when you die and no one can override that.”

“You’re…bonded with Dean?” Sam asked.

Loki looked to Sam surprised at the hurt look on his face and suddenly realized what Sam thought. “Not like a romantic bond. I mean yeah it could technically become a romantic bond, but no. It can be whatever kind of bond we want it to. Friends, brothers, whatever,” He rushed to reassure his lover. 

Sam knew he shouldn’t react like that. He knew that Gabriel would never hurt him, but even after the explanation he couldn’t help but feel left out that Dean had a bond with Gabriel before he ever did. Apparently his emotions showed on his face because Gabriel then said, “We already have an emotional bond Sammy just by loving each other. If you want to make that something more. Something permanent. We can figure that out once we get a chance.”

Sam didn’t know what was wrong with him. He didn’t even know if they were ready for that step in their relationship, but he smothered his jealousy and just nodded at the archangel with a smile. 

Dean inserted himself back into the conversation. “So you decide whether I go to heaven or hell?” Dean asked not sure how he felt about that. 

“Or purgatory, or the underworld, or any of a hundred different afterlives, or even tethering your soul to earth to become a ghost,” he said mischievously, earning him a glare from the older hunter. “Oh don’t get your knickers in a twist Deano. You’re going to heaven even if you piss me off. I may be petty, but I’m not that petty. Well unless you explicitly tell me you’d rather go somewhere else anyway. I can be flexible.”

“But my deal…”

“Was fulfilled the moment you reached hell. It just said that they get your soul when you died. It said nothing about a time frame, but if you were to go to heaven without my grace anchoring you there, they could just chuck you into hell until you break the first seal and start the whole process over again, so you’re welcome.” 

Dean didn’t know how much he liked the idea of heaven either after everything he had heard here. “There are other options, than heaven and hell?”

“Of course Deano. There are many religions in the world after all.”

“So what other options are there?” Dean asked, trying not to think about the idea of shopping for an afterlife for his eternal soul. 

Gabriel snorted. “Let me see if I can find my afterlife brochure around here somewhere,” he said sarcastically. 

“We’re getting off topic again Gabe,” Sam said trying to stop the argument before it started. 

“Right sorry. Well long story short, without Deano here they can’t restart the apocalypse anytime soon, but I suggest that neither of you have children,” He said. 

“Huh?” Sam asked. Not that he was planning to anyway, but it seemed like an odd request. 

“You are the vessels because of your bloodline. Any children you have would be close enough to you to be used as backups, though they likely wouldn’t go that route. They would just begin manipulating the bloodlines again to get them where they need to be which will be a lot closer if they begin from your offspring. If they have to start a whole new bloodline it buys us a minimum of a few thousand years before the apocalypse can start back up as opposed to a few hundred.”

“God I feel like my head is going to explode,” Dean said finally having reached his limit on information overload. 

“Don’t I know it,” Sam agreed. “Maybe we should take a break.”

“Sounds like a plan. I could definitely use some more rest. Usually after something like this I’d sleep for a few days.”

Sam wanted to tell him to go ahead but he wasn’t sure how comfortable he felt wandering around here knowing what it meant to the archangel. Plus it was pretty small for three people. “If you can manage it, maybe we could go to the beach house then Dean and I can amuse ourselves while you take a few days to recharge?” Sam suggested. 

“I knew there was a reason I loved you,” Loki said happily pecking the hunter on the lips. He snapped his fingers and their surroundings changed. Sam and Dean found themselves in a brightly lit living room with Gabriel nowhere to be seen. 

Dean jumped nervously. Sam just laughed. “Yeah that takes some getting used to,” he got a grin on his face that could only have copied from his lover. “Try having that happen during sex,” he just couldn’t resist saying as he strolled out the door behind him leading to the beach. 

By the time Dean wiped the gob smacked look off his face and followed his brother he found him lounging in the hammock in a pair of swim trunks. Sam saw his shadow and just said, “There’s shorts in the bottom drawer behind the tiki bar.” Gabriel had ‘human-proofed’ the place on their second day here so that Sam wouldn’t have to ask him to snap things up. He also got rid of anything poisonous, predatory, or in any other way dangerous. He had pointed out that Sam had the inherent ability to find danger in a padded room and he wasn’t going to take any chances. 

“Bitch,” was all Dean said in response still stinging from the zinger that Sam had left him with.

Sam just laughed and replied, “Jerk.”

 

Once the sun started going down Dean followed Sam to the kitchen where Sam started making dinner. Dean noticed that Sam seemed to know where he was going and even knew where everything in the kitchen was. “You seem to know this place pretty well.”

Sam nodded, “That’s why I asked him to bring us here. I know where everything is. After he got fed up and trapped me with Freud he brought me here for forced relaxation for about a week.”

Dean forced down the jealousy about his brother being on a tropical beach vacation reminding himself that it happened because he had been nearly suicidal, and just settled for commenting. “This place is pretty awesome. But where did Gabriel disappear to?” 

“He probably appeared directly in bed when he brought us here,” Sam figured. 

After they ate Sam gave Dean a tour of the house, just pointing out Gabriel’s bedroom of course, and showing Dean where he could sleep. “Yeah by the way where’s my stuff?”

Sam laughed, remembering that it had taken him a week to ask that question. “Well knowing Gabriel, the car with all our bags is probably in the garage,” Sam said leading his brother in that direction. 

Once they reached the garage Dean exclaimed, “My baby!” and began stroking the car lovingly. 

“You two need some privacy?” Sam asked rolling his eyes. 

“Shut up bitch,” Dean shot back at his brother as he grabbed his bag out of the back and started walking back into the house. 

“Jerk,” Sam said following him with a grin. He couldn’t believe he actually had his brother back. He would make sure to repay Loki…Gabriel very well once he was rested. 

 

The brothers made an early night of it. It had been a very long day. Between resurrections and information overload they were wrecked. Sam climbed into bed behind Gabriel smiling when the archangel unconsciously snuggled up against him. He pressed a kiss to Gabriel’s head and drifted off to sleep. 

The next morning Sam grabbed a bowl of mango and pineapple for breakfast and headed out to the beach to find that Dean had beaten him there and snagged up the hammock. “So I was thinking. What happens if we get found while sleeping beauty in there is out of it?” Dean asked. 

“I’d bet my last dollar that Gabriel has this place, and all his other places warded to high heaven,” Sam paused at the turn of phrase and then added, “Literally.”

“God Sammy, even his sense of humor is rubbing off on you. That was a terrible pun,” Dean said with a laugh. 

“Made you laugh didn’t it,” Sam shot back teasingly.

“I laughed because it was so bad…almost as bad as what he said to me when he came to get me,” Dean said. When Sam looked at him curiously Dean explained, “He said let’s get out of this hellhole.”

Dean then caught onto something that Sam had said, “How many places does he have?”

“Eighteen apparently,” Sam said with a shrug. After all how impressive could it really be when you could just snap your fingers and have everything your heart desires.

“And how many have you seen?” Dean asked curiously.

“Three,” Sam said shrugging. 

 

Gabriel wasn’t lying about sleeping for a few days as it was three days later that he popped over the water where the brothers were swimming and let himself fall from about six feet up drenching both of them in the wave. He had just barely surfaced when he suddenly felt a pull on his ankle as he was dragged back under. Sam stole a quick kiss from his angel before they surfaced to Dean’s laughter. 

They soon found themselves back on the beach again and Gabriel just turned to Dean. “I’m gonna steal your brother away for a while, be back later.”

“Hang on,” Dean said before they could disappear. “At least leave me some company,” he said hopefully remembering the girls that Gabriel had popped up the first time they met. 

Gabriel let out a little laugh and asked, “Blonde, brunette, or redhead?”

“All three?” Dean asked with his face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning wondering what he would get. 

Gabriel just snapped and a girl appeared with striped hair in all three colors, Dean frowned in disappointment for a moment before he realized that while one may not be as good as three, it was still better than none. 

Gabriel just dissolved in helpless laughter watching that thought process go through Dean’s face as he snapped his fingers and he and Sam appeared in his room. 

Sam wasted no time snatching up the archangel in deep needy kiss and tumbling into bed ripping clothes off. Sam saw no need to be careful when Gabriel could just fix them anyway and it had been over two weeks since he last had his lover awake and alone with him. 

It may have been over two weeks for Sam, but it was over three years for Gabriel and he was, if possible, more eager than Sam. As desperate and rough as the first time was, that’s how slow and sweet the second time was and when it was over Gabriel curled up to his hunter’s side pressing soft kisses to his shoulder and chest, while his fingers danced over the soft skin. 

“Did you still want to talk about bonding?” Gabriel asked tentatively remembering the conversation from the other day. 

Sam stilled for a moment and thought. It should be too soon, but he couldn’t help but think that it was just right. The archangel in his arms had more than proven his commitment to the hunter, and he was just as committed, and longed for the chance to prove it. “Yeah. I do.”

Gabriel sighed happily. “Well if we were to bond it would be a bit different than the bond Deano and I have, aside from the obvious of course.”

“How so?”

“Well once a bond like that is consummated it becomes more complete. We would be able to feel each other’s emotions and even communicate telepathically after a while. Your soul would be tied to me for eternity. Not in an I choose where you go way like with Dean, but in the you go where I go way. It’s not something to be decided lightly.”

Sam nodded. “Is that something you want?” he asked nervously. 

“Sammy, I’ve been alive for billions of years, and I’ve never felt more alive than I have these past weeks. You are everything I never knew I needed, and the idea of keeping you forever is intoxicating, but only when you are completely, a hundred percent sure.” 

Sam kissed his angel softly. “My first instinct is to say yes, absolutely, but you’re right. Eternity is something that deserves more than a moment’s thought. Especially since I can’t even really grasp the concept of eternity, but don’t ever doubt how much I love you just because I’m taking my time to think about it.”

“I wouldn’t dream of it Sammy,” Gabriel said with a smile, glad at the hunter’s answer. If he had said yes right away he would have worried that it wasn’t really what he wanted. That he was just trying to prove something. His taking time to think about it proved his love much more than just saying yes would have. 

 

They stayed at the beach house for another week, Gabriel deciding that Dean deserved a break as much as if not more than Sam after his time in hell. It was their last night there when Sam and Gabriel lay in bed sated and happy that Sam said, “Gabriel?”

“Hmm?” the archangel said happily tracing enochian sigils over Sam’s skin. 

“Bond with me?” 

Gabriel’s head snapped up at that, the blissful fog that had been pervading his mind disappeared and he looked into Sam’s eyes looking for any sign of hesitation or indecision and went he didn’t find one he kissed the hunter deeply, swallowing his gasp as the feeling of Gabriel’s grace wrapping around his soul sent a warmth throughout his body. When they finally left the room around midday the next day, they were both glowing with happiness each magnified by the other’s. 

Once they had packed up all their stuff and loaded it in the car, Gabriel transported them, car and all to the road outside of Singer Salvage. It was time to let the old man know that his other surrogate son was back from the dead.

**Author's Note:**

> I might do a sequel where the angels and demons try to get the aborted apocalypse back on track, haven’t really decided yet but if that’s something that you guys want I’ll definitely get around to it.


End file.
